BLOG: GOING TO THE DARK SIDE?

BLOG: GOING TO THE DARK SIDE?

In a recent fit of insanity — yep, another one — I decided it would be fun to sprout a mo and raise a bit of coin for a good cause. That was two weeks ago, and by the time the mag hits the shelf I reckon I’ll be the proud owner of one bad-arse scrap catcher.

So what has that got to do with anything? Well, to be honest, I’ve been going through a bit of a change lately, and haven’t quite been feeling myself. I’ve seen a councillor and even had a private consultation with the local priest. I’m starting to have strange yearnings, emotions I’ve never felt before. I’m trying to fight it, but the temptation just seems to be getting the better of me. My wife even caught me on a chat room the other day, now she’s suspicious, too. I think…I feel…

I might be…a wakeboarder.

There, I’ve said it. And now that it’s out there, I’m starting to feel a bit better about things. I don’t know where this has come from, and I’m uncertain whether I should act on my feelings, but they’re just so strong. It’s always been rods and reels for me. I don’t recall any lustful feelings for boards or bindings or ropes, but now…

In a desperate effort to resolve my situation, I’ve revisited a list I wrote in jest some time ago. Maybe the writing was on the wall a long time ago (right).

It’s amazing the influence flashy wake machines packing 1000hp between them can have on a person. Flick across to AGB Watersports in TrailerBoat #289 (last month's issue) to see what made me turn.

I’m still tempted to give it a go to see whether I really am going over to the dark side. I’m still packing the rods, though.


The fishing/wakeboarding translator

Term

wakeboarders

fishos

Air

The distance between the rider
and the water

The stuff fish
can’t breathe

Bail

Falling, intentionally or otherwise

Essential part of a spinning reel

Bone

To “bone out” means to straighten
your leg all the
way out

The net result of taking off the fillets

Bonk

The act of touching your board
on an obstacle
or buoy

The reward from the missus for bringing home
the fillets

Butt Check

When a rider slaps their butt
on the water when landing

What some people (not me, of course)
do when a girl walks by

Butter

A term used for smooth water

A slice of bread’s best friend

Duck

Putting your front and back bindings
at even angles

What you do when your uncoordinated mate is casting

Fat Sack

A water-filled bag also known as ballast

Mmm...

Goofy Foot

Boarders who ride with their right foot forward

An appendage attached to
Goofy’s leg

Lube

A slippery substance to
help get in
to bindings

A slippery substance to help in sticky situations

Perfect Pass

Add-on to boats to help maintain a
consistent speed

An A+

Pop

The “pop” generated when you release
from the wake

The old fart that comes fishing with us

Tail

The end of the board farthest from the boat when riding

A fish’s outboard motor

Wreck

When a rider can no longer hold on to the rope and falls

What a frisky Mako does to the inside
of your boat